I am a C, I am a C-h, I am a C-h-r-i-s-t-i-a-n. NOT
REALIZATION: I am not a Christian, I am not compassionate, I am not a good person, I am not empathetic, I am not loving. It took a 30 minute visit to “hunger first” a homeless ministry run by one amazing man to see that all I’ve claimed, and believed i was, is just a front to make myself feel better. How dare I feel bad for homeless, drug addicts, prostitutes, and alcoholics and all I do is pray. Really? Is that who I am? I can do SOMETHING. I only choose to associate with the ppl who look like me, smell like me, worship like me. I’m no better than the “bad” ppl. God loves them if not more than me bc he left me, part of the 99, to save that one pregnant, meth addicted whore. I sing about how I don’t deserve Gods grace and how “if you send me I’ll go” every Sunday but that was bull. I would never have gone into the dirty trashy part of town bc I was scared. It is too uncomfortable.
I met a man who quit his job to live Gods calling and he barely gets by. At this point I’m doing nothing God asks, well that is changing. I’m coming home and stepping into those neighborhoods some churches refuse to acknowledge exist. If I step on your toes I make no apologies bc they deserve and long for as much love from me that my parents and God gave me. We all say “I’m blessed” but Holy Crap I AM! If I lost everything, I would still be in better shape than what i saw today. 2 3month old babies, a toddler and a 5 year old living hand to mouth with parents that care but just can’t kick it. Not bc they are “bad” but just because… I refuse to sit on the sidelines and wait for others to “fix” them. My job is to love and share my testimony and it’s up to them to accept Christ. It’s really not a difficult recipe, I have all the ingredients.
Chelsi S.
